When I woke up that Sunday, I didn't want Monday to come. I didn't want it to come so hard that I cried into my cereal. I cried into my hymnbook, onto the shoulders of my friends. I cried all day, that's how I knew something was wrong. By the time Monday came I knew it could never come that way again. I gave my notice that day, and visited a therapist later in the week. She and I identified what I was experiencing as "nonprofit burnout".
In 3 years I worked for 5 nonprofit organizations. The experiences I had working for those agencies will stay with me the rest of my life.
I met a refugee man whose son was in a wheelchair because he was shot by the police. He told me about his son's struggle and his own fight to make progress in their new American home.
I was served spongy Ethiopian bread, crisp somosas, and countless cups of chai by beautiful and humble women in tiny apartments.
I talked to teenage boys about their struggles doing Math, and their successes in sports and social life.
I received a bounty of experience, and made lovely friends who I will always treasure. But somehow it wore me out, and had to jump off the edge of the sidewalk, hoping to land somewhere new.
I gave three weeks notice, and within two weeks I found employment with a company of all female gardeners called the Utah Garden Girls.
Plants are my refuge. They accept my care without question or nuance. Nature makes me feel good, it always has. As a gardener I get to learn, think, and be my happy introverted self. I get to work with my body, and spend the winter taking care of other things.
In the winter gardeners can't garden.
So I am going to Mexico to volunteer for an organization that helps disaster affected areas respond and rebuild in a lasting way. I first volunteered with All Hands and Hearts in their Long Island, NY project after hurricane Sandy. I was impressed by the long hours volunteers put in and the way the agency directs their energy to do the most good, instead of coddling volunteers and making touchy feely experiences for them.
I am thrilled to be going to Mexico and will update you on how things go there. Please consider donating to my fundraising page to help cover the costs of construction on the Narcisa Mendoza Primary School. I promise to bust my butt on your behalf.
It was amazing how good I felt the first few weeks of gardening. I came home from work with energy to love and play that was missing from my life for a long time. Now that I am strong again, I'm ready to get to work.
Thank you!
